I used to do photography. I loved it. I never left home without my camera due to the fact I thought I might miss the perfect shot or moment to capture. I not only enjoyed it as a hobby, but I pursued it as a second career. I enrolled in classes and seminars that taught me all the technicalities of it. I had mentors and teachers that inspired me and encouraged me. I was taking photos of all my family and friends pretty regularly and gaining clients.
Then there was a shift—a shift within myself. Everyone around me seemed to be new photographers, and there was a constant competition I was competing in that made me uncomfortable and insecure. There was judgment all around, including among myself. I couldn’t enjoy the beauty of a photo without wanting to know where and how it was taken, at what aperture and resolution, the technique used to edit it, the lens that made it.
The shift was, I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel worthy of the “photographer” title because there were so many photographers out there better than me, with more equipment and resources. I gave in to the unworthy feeling, and I put my camera on the shelf to rarely be taken off and enjoyed.
Looking back, this is not the only time my insecurities have held me back from doing the things that I genuinely love and enjoy. I am my most prominent critic. And I am continually working on loving and respecting myself enough to feel worthy.
So how many times have you let pressure over passion control your desires? Will you succumb to the pressure, or pursue that passion?
~K